ABSTINENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER

It’s lent, and despite being a non-practicing catholic, my inner seven-year-old self (she’s always there) still kind of feels some moral obligation from my catholic education to give something up for Lent, just incase there really is a Heaven when we die. If you don’t know what lent actually entails, it’s a whole forty days and forty nights of going without something, to represent Jesus trekking through the desert without food and water for the same length of time.

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TO MY SEVEN YEAR OLD SELF

A few weeks ago, I was at Dubai’s tacky somewhat-but-not theme park, Global Village. I won a giant flamingo on some little ducky fishing game (and when I say giant, I mean GIANT), went a ride on the highest swings, and was then happily chomping my way through a chocolate chip ice cream cone dusted with sprinkles. “I am literally living my childhood dream.” I thought to myself.

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“I’M SORRY. I CAN’T. DON’T HATE ME.”

I’ve had a bit of a blogging sabbatical lately. I’ve mainly been preoccupied with a few tasks like reading Sarah Knight’s, “Get Your Sh*t Together” which has me timing how long I take in the shower, (sixteen minutes FYI, and that’s not even on a hair washing day). Nothing that depressing or cringe-worth funny has been happening of late, and to be honest, I’d say that that’s where 99% of my material for blogging comes from, hence the drought, although I’m getting my eyebrows done by Beyoncé of brows later and we know how that went down in the past (watch this space…). So, until I have something worthwhile to write about, I decided to have a look through the gems of my unpublished drafts and I came across this one and decided to share it. Continue reading

THE HIGHS & LOWS OF CHRISTMAS

If you were to play a word association game, and someone shouted out ‘CHRISTMAS!’, the word most people would probably shout back in return would be, ‘JOY!’ or ‘HAPPINESS!’, however, I am here to argue that this is a common misconception. I mean, you might subliminally know the words to the majority of your Spotify Christmas Playlist, but have you ever actually listened to the lyrics? Well, deck the halls with antidepressants because here’s a compiled list of the 22 Saddest Christmas Songs of ALL time*.

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GIRL GANG

A good friend of mine once told me a story about an ex best friend and her who’d had a bitter and upsetting fall out. I don’t know why the story always stuck in my mind – maybe I resonated with it a bit. Either way, we were walking through the train station, when she told me that she had recently read an article comparing the turmoil of  falling out with a best friend, to grief. The article discussed the importance of recognising that a major relationship in your life has effectively died. “As with any death”, she told me, “you need to mourn it.” I always dress in black anyway.

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TEXTIQUETTE

I read an article online about Ed Sheeran ditching his smartphone. The guy just dropped off the grid because he felt like he was spending too much time on social media and seeing the world through a screen. While I really admire him for it, I don’t think I could bear to be parted from my iPhone – I am way too reliant on it.

Do you remember when mobile phones just started to be a ‘thing’? And everyone would cram as many shorthand words into one measly 7p text message?  Continue reading

FATE

Does everything happen for a reason? Or is life just a series of coincidences?

I was telling a good friend over WhatsApp that due to my low key living at the moment, that I didn’t feel like I had much to write about for my blog just now. She suggested writing a blog ‘on fate and how things that are “meant to be” are BULLSHIT and why we should pay them no mind.’ (She did add that she was probably just feeling extra cynical, after yet another potential relationship collapsed in a heap around her), so I’m using her suggestion and writing a blog about fate and wether or not I think it exists. Continue reading

1110 DAYS


One thousand, one hundred and ten days ago today, (it was a Friday) I upheaved my life and took it to Dubai. I cried mascara tears on the shoulder of my mum’s brand new white t-shirt as she told me, “I’m only going to say this once, but it’s not too late to change your mind if you don’t want to go.” Continue reading

MEN VS WOMEN

There are some fundamental differences between the female and male species. I have discovered these fundamental differences through a variety of methods including thorough observations of the species in their natural habitat*. Other methods include at length discussions between groups of friends – friends hailing from both halves of the species.

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PAMELA VIOLETS IN SINGAPORE

Singapore wasn’t really part of the plan. I had planned to spend the long weekend in Barcelona, but unfortunately my plans fell through. At a loose end, I messaged my friend in SG who has a spare room. A few hours later, I was up and frantically packing (as always) and in a fast cab to the airport. Here’s my guide to SG, so that you can do it with even less effort. After all, I’m all about the minimal.

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PAMELA VIOLETS IN BUDAPEST

What’s the best way to cure a severe case of the blues? Grab a friend and escape the city, pronto Tonto. Just after 11pm (and a couple of gins) last Wednesday night, I decided to catch a flight out of the sandpit for the weekend, and randomly headed to Budapest, the capital of Hungary.

With absolutely zero planning, except a quick search of google and some suggestions from friends, here’s my highlights from Budapest. Continue reading

THINGS PEOPLE SAY WHEN YOU’VE BEEN DUMPED

When I was 19 years old, I got dumped by my childhood sweetheart. On the train to uni the next day was reading the Metro newspaper (for those who haven’t heard of it, it’s a free British newspaper for commuters). That morning, I kid you not, the opening line under Virgo’s Metro star sign read, “A major relationship in your life has just sunk like the Titanic.” I don’t know why, but after all these years, I’ve never forgotten that opening line. Continue reading