I haven’t written for a really, really long time. Admittedly, I’ve been busy, but since when have I ever not been busy? Mainly, I just felt like I’ve had nothing to say. I felt like, as a person, I brought nothing interesting to the table anymore, and that why would anyone want to hear my … Continue reading I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY

Did I just convert?

Let’s get one thing straight. People can be divided into three categories. Cat people, dog people, and the don’t like animals people. For the sake of this blog post, lets ignore the latter, because firstly, only psychopaths don’t like animals, and secondly I don’t associate with these types for the reason that they must surely … Continue reading Did I just convert?


It’s funny how some sayings stick in your mind. “Whit’s fur ye, will no go by ye!” is probably one of the most common ones I remember, and to anyone reading this, try reading it in a broad Scottish accent, a bit like this, “Whh-its fur yeh’ell no go bye yeh!!” If you’re still having … Continue reading ‘EXPECTATION IS THE ROOT OF ALL HEARTACHE’


Being an adult is hard. It really, wasn’t what I signed up for. Not only do I want a refund, but I also want compensation for all the hidden fine clauses, as well as a free emotional support animal who is <unlike my recently adopted pet> a lap cat.


“Stop touching your face, Pam.” Boyfriend tutted at me as we were waiting for the lifts. I internally eye-rolled at him, and my tone of voice said just as much. “I KNOW”. “Well, why do you keep doing it then?” “BECAUSE THE BLOODY FACE MASK THAT WE HAVE BEEN TOLD TO WEAR IS TOO BIG … Continue reading LITTLE FACE ISSUES


It’s the third week of quarantine here in Dubai, and we are now on a 24 hour lock down. We don’t have that privilege that they have in the UK, where you’re allowed out once a day for exercise… we can’t even go to the supermarket without obtaining a permit from the police first. Not … Continue reading QUARANTINE DAY… ?


Just like the Sinead O ‘Connor song, It has in fact been (approximately) seven hours and fifteen days, since I: wore mascara did my fake tan wore a socially acceptable outfit I think it’s the longest time in my adult life, where I’ve really let myself ‘go’. Although, as I write it, It doesn’t really summarise the point I’m trying … Continue reading QUARANT-QUEEN


The airport wasn’t even five minutes behind me when I saw the monstrous billboard advertisement by Heineken. Holiday troubles are part of the tradition, enjoy them. Accurate, I told myself as we whizzed on past, weaving through the onslaught of mopeds and scooters. Mario Kart, but with more traffic. But this wasn’t a virtual reality. … Continue reading BALI KNOW ITS